On April 30th my mom would have been 61. I still can't believe we've celebrated four birthdays without her. This time of year is always so hard, my birthday on April 10th, her birthday April 30th, and Mother's day. Constantly reminded of what I no longer have. That one woman who I need more than anyone. When you become a mother all you want is your mom. You are dying to hear, "you're doing a great job honey," "you make me proud," "your kids are magical." Instead I just keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to little glimpses that she's with me, that she's beaming up in heaven.
Excuse the picture of a picture. What a little Shirley Temple!
I see such a resemblance here.
We spent Mom's birthday at the cemetery. It was such a gorgeous day. The night before I was at Walgreens picking out a card for her. I just couldn't help but think how is this my life? How is this possible that I'm picking out a birthday card to leave at a cemetery? How am I growing up and becoming a mommy to these two amazing kids and my mom is missing this all? How is this God's plan? I just have to keep my faith going that someday I will see her again and she can answer these questions.
Maevey and Momma having a moment. I'm sure my mom was telling her how much she loves her rolls and her blue eyes.
Now I have to admit I pointed to the headstone and said give your Ana a kiss.
When we got to the car, Ignatius turned around and waved. I never told him to say goodbye. Makes you wonder.
My heart hurts every day without her.
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